dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss
How to play The Sims
- spend 3 hours creating your family
- spend 3 days creating your house
- play the actual game for 20 minutes
- do not touch for 4 months
I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
oh my godddddd there is a new swedish reality tv show where they are tracking down internet trolls and confronting them about the death threats they’ve sent to people, since it’s actually illegal.
watching them try to explain how it’s not them is the…
"if you were polite and nice with your activism we’d listen" no you wouldn’t you fucking liars
Not one ounce of social progress has stemmed from those in power saying, “Well, you were really polite about it, so here are those equal rights you wanted.”
Given the choice, they will never listen. You have to make them listen.
reasons to let me cuddle you:
- I will stick my cold hands all over your body
- I’ll probably fall asleep on you and make cute sleep noises
- I can lay there long enough for the second coming of christ
- I will be smiling the whole time
- you’re warm and I’m not
- let me leech your heat